I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
We've been here for ten minutes. She told me I wasn't "Irish enough", licked my tits, and then sprinkled green glitter on them.
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
I got a message from the hook up gods today that it's time to move on. It came in the form of me being shoved in a closet naked and stuck in there for 30 min well he watched boy meets world with his brother.
He asked me if I remembered touching his police badge. awk.
Blocking me on Facebook doesn't change the fact that you've had my penis in my mouth. So there's that.
He told me was "pretty like the wife in some movie where the husband is a cheater." I think I'm gonna fuck him.
Found a pic on my phone from last night. You're drunk. Arm wrestling some guy. In the bar bathroom. At a baby changing station. It's my new wallpaper.
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
It seems that I didn’t convey clearly enough how well and truly fucked we are, Jack. Listen to me very closely: we are DEAD.
Randomize
