Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
You know its been a rough night when you wake up and the first thing you remember is your mom going skinny dipping.
I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
he was holding his dick in one hand and my boob in the other and i looked down and thought, this is my life
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
I was stumbling so much, men walking behind us were shouting "don't hit the pole! don't hit the pole!" whenever I was near a telephone pole.
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
He had a tramp stamp of his own phone number. You can't tell me that isn't smart.
Is "when in doubt date the guy with the bigger dick" a good philosophy?
From now on, you must never doubt my ability to go from drunken rambling lovesick girl to Stepford wife within the course of a few hours.
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
Yeah, but i got vodka and bacon out of it, so it's fine.
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
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