No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
you were standing in two feet of water, screaming at people walking by to "call river rescue".
The last time I saw you, you were rolling around on the ground at the bar.....
.....well it was bound to be an interesting night since I was chasing my pulls with pulls....
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
Say what you will, but only I can throw up on someone's door and make it look like art.
That's the last time I'm letting you drink that apple vodka
still not dressed at 5:00, jacking off watching men's figure skating and hoping my weird roommate doesn't walk in. anybody who says idk how to have fun is wrong
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
He asked me to fly out to Seattle to participate in a week of marathon sex so I'm at the airport now. I'll call you when I get back.
Randomize
