O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
Dude. Hurry up. They just blessed the tequila.
I should probably file for unemployment. Sometime between last night and 4 AM I facebooked my manager the lyrics to hoe by ludacris. I'm just projecting ahead here.
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.
She just came home holding a fire hydrant. Yes a fire hydrant.
I'm having a really difficult time dealing with the fact that my dog now shares a name with Snooki's crotch-spawn.
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
I'm watching my cat lick a used condom wrapper on my nightstand and I'm too hungover to move and do anything about it. Tequila Tuesdays can not be a thing.
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
The thing about pooping in the woods during hunting season is you never know if someone's watching you.
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
Make a note to pack something that won't catch shell casings in your cleavage
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
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