Im starting to realize why people dont masturbate while driving
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
you convinced the bartender to un-cut you off by letting him touch your boobs whenever you ordered a drink.
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
I told her that I thought she needed an oral mammogram. With me being pre-med she bought it.
You were carrying around a milk crate, randomly putting it down calling out 'praise be to the milk gods' and making people pray to it.
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
So glad the long weekend is over so I can bring this bender to a merciful end.
I just got a lap dance from a sexy cop in return for giving him his sunglasses back. I think this is going to be the beginning of a really great friendship
Do you think I can get away with quoting Work Bitch by Britney Spears in my speech?
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
Randomize
