I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
mowing the lawn. still drunk. If my dad doesn't appreciate this I swear I'm dissowning everyone including him
It just hit me that I woke up to you in a bear suit. Explain.
coming out of a blackout being surrounded by Disney police was not as awesome as it sounds.
He literally sends me dick pictures, EVERY DAY. SEVERAL DIFFERENT ANGLES ..it's like I GET THE POINT.
There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese.
My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe.
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
You pissed off the back deck while listening to the national anthem from your phone screaming America Fuck Yea to my neighbors
OMG BTW REMEMBER HOW HE ORDERED PIZZA THAT ONE TIME WE HOOKED UP. APPARENTLY HE WAS HANDING IT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MY BUILDING AS HE WAS LEAVING
The site I use to study flash cards keeps showing ads for truck companies hiring drivers. It's like the site is saying "hey, we all know there's no hope for you, just give up and Become a truck driver."
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
So I bought that bathing suit yesterday and got buyers remorse so I returned it today and then stole it. Win win.
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.
I may or may not have been feeling patriotic and banged Captain America in a closet. SPOILER ALERT: We broke his shield
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