So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
i mean really, i cant compete with a cucumber
was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
I just threw up in a patch of wild flowers on the side of the road. I never knew rock bottom was so beautiful.
just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
Just so we're clear, that's a yes to the honey, but if you get marshmallow fluff anywhere near my body we are never doing this again
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
Act your age.
I am. I'm acting like a drunk 20 year old.
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
Listen gotta draw the line somewhere. Apparently that line is at my nuts.
Randomize
