So I have $4.22 in my bank account, just wrote a check for a tooth brush from quikmart, and bought a 25 cent condom from the bathroom. i don't know whats more sad, my bank account or the fact that i'm entrusting my entire future to a condom machine that was probably last filled in 1970
He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
The gym is handing out free condoms this week, motivation to work out this week?
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
Just realized that St. Patty's is on a Saturday this year in case you were interested in coming to New York and redefining bender with me.
Im drinking ciroc out of an ice cream cone... my night is going fantastic
Oh god. Just tried to hail a pizza delivery car. Awkward.
International sake day = success
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
I didn't mind you coming over, just I'm quite sure most booty calls don't involve a scavenger hunt...
Fell asleep naked on the recliner spooning with my organic chemistry book. The fact that I made it through four years of college is proof that the education system is fucked.
So I decided to sleep with him for the first time in months so I can convince him it's his kid instead of the other guy
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
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