So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
Dude I just heard my boss singing from the bathroom "I love making poop"
we were spooning and you were the big spoon but you insisted that I call you "the ladle"
I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
At least the cops kept you away from sleeping with her. Protect and Serve.
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
Apparently I told his new girlfriend to stop swallowing because she's getting fat. Oh, and I yelled this across a large room
I had her number in my wallet, I was sitting on a winning ticket for the blowjob lottery and didn't know
Tornado booty call.. dedication
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
We found him. He was passed out in a McDonalds booth with at least 6 big Mac wrappers. The employee said he kept yelling that he was in America and had the freedom to have big macs. Fucking Italians...
I asked him to tell me a bedtime story, then threw up on him.
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
Ok. Yes. He has a tiny penis. But he also has a trust fund.
My fuck it list is complete! I finally got a firefighter!
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