took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
When I realized it was a dog, and I still had a boner, it was awkward.
she left out the fact that she had a kid until she told me not to suck on her tits too hard or milk would come out.
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
Disasters an understatement. Hurricane alpha chi omega hit. On my way to buy carpet cleaner, super glue, and a new liver. Be back soon.
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
Just face planted the stairs. Apparently Santa brought an extra step while I was at the bar... Fucking dick
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
Dude on a beach in sicily and a blonde jesus just smoked us out and then tried to makeout with me I am never leaving this place
Randomize
