Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
i'm only drinking out of pineapples from now on.
This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
I realized we pick a president more often than I get a blowjob
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
I can't be drunk. Sober yes. Drunk no. Spoonfuls
He said I went to go sit outside and is promised I wouldn't leave he brings me a chair and I'm gone. He found me stumbling a half mile away in my socks
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
I think this girl gave me a handjob thinking that I would help her with her cell phone bill
omg. that's awesome
At my eighteen year old cousin's wedding. Getting hit on by a 9 year old. No one knows who he came with. I'm pretty sure he just showed up from the field behind the church. Help.
I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
And the next thing I knew I was blowing this random hot italian bartender with an uncircumcised penis in his work closet
Uh oh. Put down the vodka cancel the clowns and get rid of the donkey
I remember her making the first martini but the rest of the weekend is a blur of vodka, high heels and sex toys.
First time being used by a cougar. Definitely okay with it
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