1:57 a.m. Where did you go???
1:58 a.m. What are you doing? I want to go home with you, why aren't you responding?
2:11 a.m. Heading back to your place now, will you let me in?
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
last time i saw her she was begging the broken jukebox to play lady gaga.
Neighbors just bought a new bong. Got high with them and we decided to name it "Gary colemans sweet sugarlumps" these guys are hilarious
He made me a "booty call of the year" award.
We all know tonight is going to end like every other night with you. drunk, pantless and confused. Dont try to switch things up.
Celebrating anything "Eve" is never a good choice! I feel like my soul's been put in a blender on the "destroy" setting- in other news: Happy 4th of July
I told you in the isle if you get the one that vibrates that I masturbating with it. Your fault.
Bullshit. You owe me a toothbrush.
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
I would just like to go ahead and accept my slut of the year award.
It's like 10 times better than an Oscar
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
I haven't showered. And am sitting in the office smelling like a beer can someone's been using as an ash tray.
So I'm at early voting and the group of ladies behind me is talking about voting no on 2 and my gummy is kicking in, thank lawd
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
My law teacher drew an elephant on the board in class. I was so high that I laughed for 5 minutes straight. Nobody else laughed and everyone stared. 130 people knew I was high.
Randomize
