So I just opened the bag you gave me and those panties aren't mine...
oh
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
only 75% of american men are circumcised...i guess this was bound to happen to me someday.
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
If it snows I'm just gonna sit at my house in my costume and drink beer by myself all night.
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science.
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
Fell asleep in the library, woke up because I almost let out a sleep fart. That was close.
Yes dating, but it seems easier to just live in a perpetual state of Netflix, internet porn, and cheese.
What's the polite way to tell someone she's a grown ass woman and she needs to start acting like it.
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
Randomize
