Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
I kind of wish I was already fat. So I could eat all I want and not worry about getting fat. Cause I'd already be at that point.
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
My fucking roommate unpluged my alarm; I pissed on his clean clothes.
I came home to my brother stoned out of his mind. He got a high score on COD and asked me to have a celebration yogurt with him.
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
I miss the time when Mondays weren't the new Thursdays. I can't drink like my 17 year old self anymore.
Happiness was finding the hidden Gatorade in the fridge
I'm sorry, the person you're trying to reach is WAYYY too high to deal with this right now.
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
Its only once in a life time you get to pick your vcard swiper up from jail
You abruptly started screaming because they had and I quote “calamari on the hoof”
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