Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
I basing my decision on whether or not to date someone on whether I could imagine having sex with them sober
Acid is not a monday night drug
I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
hungover + watching bobsledding = i just puked
I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
Most violent shit of my life. New Years resolution of eating better is already kicking me in the face.
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
Did you send me a cake saying 'Happy 1st One-Night Stand Ever'?
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
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