For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
I feel that my census will not be the first census submitted soaked in beer
And then she was like, "don't do anything. No blow jobs, don't let him stick his fingers in weird places because people have germs."
just so you know... i was wasted last night, but the evening is coming back to me in flashes... i made you eat gravy last night, didn't i?
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
she was rubbing her elbow against the fish tank and laughing hysterically then she said I'M THEIR FISHY GOD and watched harry potter
Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
There is a large scratch and bruise about the size of a pizza bagel next to my vagina. Please text back if you know what happened.
It was awful. Their identical twins so it was like having sex with Jeff wearing a wig and shaved legs.
They only searched every other person. But I sacrificed myself to get our vodka across the border
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
His pet bird was perched ON HIS DICK.
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