I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
when your friendship is based on dead babies and vodka there is a delicate balance. lesson learned. for what its worth, you are still my number one.
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
Thanks for buying me a sippy cup, its so pretty and everyone keeps telling me its probably the best gift anyone could have given me
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
I found the bottle of ketchup and sobe you tried to hide in the middle of the lawn last night
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
Would it be out of line to take a picture of all the earrings, rings, hairclips, and other miscellaneous girl items that I found under my bed and post it on facebook and tag all the girls that I slept with this year so they can claim their shit and get it out of my house?
I just had sex over my oven then high fived the guy. It's going to be a good year.
so I may or may not have had intense sex to mozart's greatest hits on vinyl... I don't know if I should be proud or just really disappointed in my nerdness
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
The UTI came back with a vengeance.
I'm going to come in the middle of the night and attack you with spoons
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
Randomize
