does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
I swear it's like I have a jerk off quota I have to meet each week. If I miss three days I have a wet dream and it's like a wasted jizz, and it gets everywhereeeeeee.
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
Is "you left your socks here, please come get them" a good way of saying "come fuck me?"
Note for the future: whiskey syrup is AMAZING on 3am pancakes.
You know how most people would take your keys when they don't want you to leave a party? Those 2 girls aren't most people. They took my pants instead.
Saxophones in my mind. I swear someone dosed me.
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
starting to feel like a fuck wizard with a magical sixth sense for people fucking.
Just peed on the front lawn of the capital building. Great American.
Ahhh, the bane of our relationship.... His mediocre penis
When I planned out my evening, "co-author lesbian vampire erotica" was not anywhere on my list of expected activities.
Me neither, but hey, this is where we've ended up. Let's embrace the moment.
Randomize
