I got so high that I decided to drive with my knees on the way home. Where am I going in life?
Nowhere
i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
i'm sending her a home depot gift card for the hole i put in her wall. call it good?
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
I don't make the first move. Ever. Unless were playing monopoly cause that's my shit
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
usual friday morning routine. the pants i wore last night are in my passenger seat and im rooting through the pockets trying to make exact change at the dunkin donuts drive thru
Woke up to my asscrack filled with melted Reese's Pieces. Halloween parties are so weird here man
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
I'm running on 2 hours of sleep. Just spent 6 minutes staring at the back of my hand thinking: "I don't really know this that well"
The twitch Bob Ross stream is the happiest little hangover cure ever.
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
Fine I’ll come with you but you better tell that guy to wear some longer shorts because the second I see a rogue nut I’m gone
If I don't get alcohol poisoning from tonight I don't think i ever will.
Randomize
