used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
You blinded her by spitting vodka in her eyes, the vodka you had just taken as a body shot off of her.
We couldn't find him for like 4 hours. Turns out he was sitting under a tree and had thrown his phone in a lake because he couldn't figure out how to unlock it. Freshmen.
you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
this is gentle reminder #1 not to forget to bring the vibrator when you come
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
I'm laughing at the fact that I'm at Target right now buying vitamins and alcohol.
Ah Christ I think I've reached the single life mentality 100%. I just inquired a photographer about a photo shoot with my dog.
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
Randomize
