My dad just drunkly made a toast in front of my entire extended family "to my daughter the recent and sucessful college and to my son the drunken whore-monger"
yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
Guess who won bingo at the senior center and is going to jail all in the same night?
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
I HAVEN'T FUCKED ANYONE IN FOREVER AND A HALF I DON'T DESERVE TO BE A TRASHY BLONDE
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
Want to FaceTime and watch me finish this bagel?
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
Congrats. You made me have an orgasm in Starbucks.
I put on that one song on Titanic so he'd fall asleep. When I was positive he'd passed out in a drunken fit, he outstretches his arms and says "I'm flying, Jack.."
I miss you.
Yeah, I don't want to have sex.
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
Change of plans & whoring it up tonight
Randomize