We were making out when she went into convulsions. At least now I know she's allergic to peanuts.
He waited til after we had sex to tell me he had herpes... Ugh I hate being drunk
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
I knew I was high when I wanted to write a poem about how great it felt to wash my face
Passed out on her toilet. Dog licked my face to wake me. Awkward talk with her boyfriend, who hadn't been home last night. Not sure exactly what town I'm in, but I'm south. Will call for ride when I figure it out.
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
Pretty sure I'm taking the break up well. Alcohol made me okay with it and drugs keep me agreeing with why I dumped him in the first place.
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
I'm very impressed by your ability to explain a story about your fiery snatch solely in emojis. props.
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
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