the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
Woke up in a pool of alcohol sweat. Probably could wring out my sheets and make a decent cocktail.
I feel like one of those toads that you lick to get high or find a prince.... cept when you lick me you find a drunk whore.
Tell her to not eat the pizza she threw up on.
You kept running into the wall most of the night. When people asked you what you were doing you told them you were the kool-aid man and there was little kids on the other side of the wall who needed your juice
Literally just spent 45 minutes converting my paintball gun to shoot condoms....
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
People are yelling about how much they want you here.
I'm going to change, vomit up my mexican food to save the trouble later, and then come meet you. Thrilled.
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
Also I stopped in the middle of the road and put my hazards on because BUNNIES WERE PLAYING
Some dude just said my hair smells like his pillows
I paid for lunch, then he made a bunch of holes in my wall and destroyed my bathroom.
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
Randomize
