I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
I seriously can't date anymore I forgot how to hide my crazy
I left my toothbrush at her house. This is getting way too serious for me.
You kept spitting the skittles out cause you said they tasted like "balls of sandpaper"
Well I'm 2 for 2 with the absinthe, I just woke up in some random car behind the bar
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
I'm truly not mad that he's at a strip club, it's that he couldn't look far enough into the future to figure out how to get himself home from one
There are Vine videos that have lasted longer than he did
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
Didn't you used to babysit him?
18 years ago I helped him into his clothes. Today he helped me out of mine.
It's like an adderall Houdini. Right when you think you have a deal he disappears
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
Hey, thanks for helping me this morning
Always a pleasure to feed you bread as your body lay crumpled on the floor.
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Randomize
