Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
My roommate is on the phone with one of her friends trying to figure out how she threw up IN her pants. I'm not sure whether to burst out laughing or direct her towards Plan B.
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
Found my wallet. It was under my dresser with a note that said "good job you found me". Drunk me is an ass.
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
He kept checkin to make sure you were still alive after you passed out on his bed, After like the 4th time he walked back in there you were naked on his bed eating an apple, claiming he needed to be the Adam to your Eve..That drunk..
IF I CAN STICK YOUR DICK IN MY MOUTH, I CAN STICK MY GUM ON YOUR NIGHTSTAND.
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
I apologize in advance for the number of sex toys drying on the bathroom sink.
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
He can't say no, it's my spiritual goddamn quest.
I just named someones junk. I should not be allowed to talk to people.
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
Randomize
