Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
just gave a homeless man a kiss in exchange for two handles
exact location. now.
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
Before I left in the morning I deleted her purity ring app off her iPod, I figured it would save her the shame
If you're still awake, how rude would it be if I masturbated in her new apartment on moving day? If you're asleep, then ask me how it was.
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
Buying a pregnancy test at Walmart in the middle of the night in the middle of Tennessee is not really how I imagined my 25th year on this planet starting out...
"I played a game called "how drunk can you get in a minute" last night. How was your Thursday?"
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
You know you've been on Tinder too long when you're the guy cropped out of the profile pic. Of a woman you're still seeing...
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.
Hey, I left a taco in your dishwasher.
I think it's time for tequila and I to go our separate ways
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
Randomize
