Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
I hope you had to get up out of bed and walk across your room to check this text message
All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
I bought a nasal spray, my nose needs to be in order by the weekend
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
after she rolled over and said 'i'm so glad you're like my gay best friend, love you' then left. did i just get friendzoned AFTER sex??
I took it upon myself to take one shot of tequila to have an excuse for hitting on my not-single coworker. It worked.
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
His flight was delayed by two hours though. I just got cock-blocked by clouds :(
BABE I MISS YOU SO MUCH LIKE THE SADNESS OVERWHELMS BONER ABILITY
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
Randomize
