1. No more tequila 2. Why do you let me say slutty things? 3. I woke up and our apartment was covered in cake? 4. Love you
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
Turns out the old man beside me in the waiting room was dead, but other then that it was a good day.
For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment.
The apocalypse has arrived.
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
Yeah we were on bar number 7 on our bike trail and you decided to steal my bike and we found you 20 minutes later eating Cheetos in the shallow end of your parents pool
I just tried to get a motorcycle cop to give me a ride....he told me not to ask strangers for rides
Fuck man, I am really high rn and all I've eaten is different forms of pie
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
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