I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?
I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
Just got Netflix. Dexter Marathon. Still in my PJ's. Only eaten cookie dough and drinking a 40. I have never reeked so strongly of lonely .
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
The first clue should've been that he literally had shit in his hair. How does that even happen?
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
Hi Jessica this is Jessica and I am texting you and were taking lime shots and it's fantastic and I broke your elbow and I love you xo
An open call to all exes! i have a drunk text policy that requires i delete any and all texts after drink 3, however i have reason to believe i have done something stupid. if i have texted you that "I love you", "miss you" and/or conveyed any interest in getting back together with you in the last 24 hours i was belligerent and lying. That is all.
I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
If we both finish he brings me a beer and cookies, if only he finishes I get wine and cheesecake. I think I'm in love.
Also I played a weird game of chicken in the ladies room at work between myself the person pooping 2 stalls over and a very determined maintenance man.
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
Dude I used amphetamines responsibly today though. I snorted one in the am for work and then chewed one in the pm for other work. I'm an adult.
I just licked honey off my own tit. Is there anything about that which doesn't SCREAM single???
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