Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
I'm so bummed I missed coconut bowling. It's fucking cold here and no coconuts to be found
I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
If turning my entire backyard into a slip-n-slide is wrong then I don't wanna be right
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
Drunk at ten am watching Californication re runs. Being divorced rules.
our flight took off 8 am and the bar didn't close til 5, so we decided it was a good idea to just stay out all night. Drunk logic is awesome. We were all scared we wouldn't get let onto the plane
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
I gave three different guys a boner at the same time last night, and none of them are in the same city as I am. That's achievement.
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
I'm not well. Although it could be worse.
My cousin is so hungover she quit her job.
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