My farts woke her up so I pretended to be keep sleeping.
found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
Apparently, banging my bartender ex-girlfriend = free drinks again. Not every bad decision is a wrong decision.
Some girl in the stall next to me just yelled "fuck yes i started my period!" she came out of the stall and we high fived. who am i to judge? i do that every month.
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
Blasting venetian snares and drinking a beer. I love being an adult. It's like being a child but with beer for breakfast, better music, and no one yells at you.
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
You have to summon your inner elephant
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
Randomize
