Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
i tried to light my apt on fire. reasons why drunks and women should not cook
You're gonna have to start calling my house phone from now on
How come?
Cuz 'Dad' looked pretty similar to the word Dane when i sent that picture message
No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
Mac n' cheese is coming out of my nose. You can't make that feel better
you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
We haven't even moved into the apartment yet and she has already screwed two of our neighbors. This is going to be the longest 12 month lease of my life.
I should have slept with you when you were wearing the gorilla suit. I've had dreams about your chest hair. I hope jail wasn't too bad.
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?
My mom just asked me about the teeth marks on my headboard..
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
Fuck. What bets did I make about "yeah when the Cubs win the World Series" that I gotta reneg on????
Randomize
