Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
I woke up around 30 bottles of beer, with a piece of aluminum foil in my hand, that had "you Win" Wrote in sharpie..
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
you were exchanging tortilla chips with the guy at the next table, telling him your table was given the "big chips" because it was your 21st birthday
If we worried less about pouring champagne down stripper crack, we probably wouldn't skip so many meals.
I don't know where I am and I feel like a hippo shat in my mouth. This sofa is comfy though.
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
I thought my dog was a polar bear. I kept asking how the north pole was this time of year.
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
Funny you say that, I just sold my stripper pole to my mom tonight...
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
Randomize
