I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
He could list all of the presidents! Every one, and in order!! I was so impressed the least I could do was give him a blow job.
Ah, yes. Making our founding fathers proud.
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
Last night turned out to be an expensive trip to your house between the ticket and the plan b. (Well I haven't gotten that yet)
My rule for unemployment is that I can't smoke before noon.
I haven't gotten up before 1 though, so it hasn't really impacted me.
it was one of those unspoken contracts of silence like "I teach your daughter and you work at a strip club"...I don't tell if you don't
I just remembered I did the whole byebyebye dance at the bar
Fyi, shaking your genitals at me doesn't count as "trying to have sex".
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
Randomize
