Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
I love how I just got my coachella ticket and ecstasy in a package deal.
Dude you make losing your phone an art. You left it balancing on a two liter bottle in the kitchen. Wtf
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
The doctor that gave me my std test is trying to hook me up with her daughter lol
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
I got drunk and slept with the guy who looks like Jesus.
Typical.
I feel like vibrating beds are just synonymous with venereal diseases.
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
Apparently I took a selfie with fried chicken at 2 am....I'm still trying to figure out where I got the chicken. I thought I was making mac & cheese.
These are the last few fleeting sober moments of the day for me. If there is anything you need me to do today, please tell me now
Dude you where on that lil kids bike at 2 am ridin down the turning lane wearing only socks and a helmet singing born to be wild, no you weren't that fucked up
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
Randomize
