this wart on my finger ripped off while i was fingering this girl the other night. she thought she had gotten her period and started crying so i went with. its better for both of us that way
yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
I'm so hungover i just sang the alphabet to see if "Z" comes after "W"
I can't believe all I ate yesterday was half a turkey sandwich and 20 finger licks of exctasy.
Dude, she uses Old Spice. It smelled like I was eating out my grandfather.
What if we had a smart house and we could just say "baked" and it would rain donuts?
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
Also I'm sitting home alone with a big ass bowl of marshmallows right now just eating. It's so sad.
We haven't even eaten dinner yet and she's already been asked to "take it down a notch" by the groom's mom.
Oh boy. Send him a care package with laxative cookies and alcohol. So he can shit himself while he's passed out drunk.
So your contact has been changed to "jizz weave" in my phone. Now, as strange and random as that may be, I'm slightly embarrassed to say that I have more than one contact that fits that description so please identify yourself.
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
hey, just so we're clear, next time we go swimming drunk at my house, we have to use the floating chairs instead of my mattress. i'm not sure how to get it out of the pool.
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
Randomize
