YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
FYI, your girlfriend is on her way to the ER. She tried to balance a bottle of jack on her chest. Smashed toes, blood all over patio. Call her, kinda funny though.
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
Fate is real! that hot chick, Megan just showed up dressed as jasmine and I'm dressed as Aladdin this is going to be cake
Gas station champagne. And before you say anything I'll have you know it's imported. From California. So get fucked.
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
I was hammered helping a pregnant woman at the gas station name her unborn child. We had to try everything with two different last names because she was waiting on the results of her paternity test.
WHO DOES THAT ON A TUESDAY? This is not a Drake joke, the girl doesn't turn up OR down. She doesn't do anything.
Something must have happened, they started yelling truffle butter and you said we needed to leave NOW
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
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