Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
Brought out my three foot martini glass last night, that explains why I haven't left my bed all day long.
i can't believe i brushed your teeth last night. so drunk.
Just opened a beer with eyelash curlers... miss you.
It took him three days to realize his roommate had moved out.
Thinking about adopting a 16 yr old here. Her name is Abby and she likes vodka. We've bonded. I need a sober driver n e ways...
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
How did you even find out?
Because you came up to me and said "I just fucked in the bathroom."
Oh.
What color suit is the proper "i banged the bride" attire?
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
He was the perfect gentleman on our first date. Took me out for candlelit dinner at a fancy restaurant, held open the door, walked me home, and made me cum three times before he got his.
I woke up to a bum peeing outside my window, and he said, "This is embarrassing for you."
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