Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
Thanks for not waking me up before the firefighters chopped down my door
I think i can hear god laughing at me and yelling "thou shall pay for thy habits of underage drinking" through a megaphone directly at my eardrums
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
In college, I had one standard. Penis. A lot has changed since then. Now I really only have one standard. Breathing.
You had a hot dog outside the bar then made me stop at McDonald's for a double quarter pounder. I'd say you've more than filled your drunken meat quota.
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
"Like what guy would respond to 'let's fuck. I've got bagels'??"
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
Got arrested last night. My cell mate just added me on Facebook.
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
He had been licking my nipple for like 5 minutes and it wouldn't get hard. He asked me to lick my own and when I did, instant hardness. I realized I'd rather have sex with myself then this guy ..
And here I am, playing fetch with my cat at two in the morning.
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