that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
So... I'm really sorry I tried to sell you to random people in cars last night
She wouldn't stop saying her own name. Like a damn pokemon.
I thought I broke my iPhone. I was almost as depressed as the day I broke my vibrator.
yeah my mom told me she knows when i come home high because i use my turn signal while turning into the driveway...
Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?
You have no idea I looked like the porno version of Laura Ingalls Wilder
I got really stoned and got my certification as an ordained minister. How productive has your day been?
We go out and drink, fuck, and I stay the night. He agrees to it because he knows I'll hook him up to IV fluids in the morning. Everyone wins
burned my penis with a sauteed onion again.
I just found a ladybug shell in my underwear. What was I doing last night?
I told him to not try to hang out with me ever again and now I regret it Bc im bleeding through my uterus and just want him to suck on my aching nipples
all i remember is walking home without my pants on... when i woke up i was sleeping in between my parents in their bed, no more whiskey wednesdays
I just came in my own mouth don't ask me how cuz it really hurt and felt good at the same time.
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