We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
i used baking grease as lip gloss
You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
vaguely remember the bartender stopping me outside last night so he could pull the duct tape out of my hair
She just got out of the car and said "hold on purse.. It's going to be a bumpy ride"
i miss our vodka / percocet laundry days.
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
I'm texting you the word "cockring" because I feel it hasn't been said enough throughout our friendship.
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
Mom just told me I need to start having sex.
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
I fucking hate them. They came over and sat on me and made out. On top of me. Who the fuck does that?
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
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