Will you blow on my dice?
I wish I was a guy so I could jack myself off anytime I wanted to
I literally made his dick bleed. How the fuck do you think it went?
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
i don't think i ever formally apologized for that time i threw up on your dog.... well...here it is...
you force-fed me gummy vitamins while screaming "I JUST WANT YOU TO BE HEALTHY" i have never been so terrified in my life.
you're going to have to hot glue me into my dress tonight. there's no way out.
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
Also, I want you to know, that not only am I apparently the expert on sexting. Our bishop is consulting me later. So my talents are varied.
So many Oreos I'm regretting this decision already but I'm happy at the same time...The straddle is real
Struggle. Not straddle. I'm not straddling anyone.
Found the cure to anxiety attacks.
An orgasm
On her way to bed she said, "If you have sex on the couch, just move my blanket" Needles to say, we moved the blanket
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
I look excited, but its just a facade.
Randomize
