oh god the rape fog is back!
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
I had her number in my wallet, I was sitting on a winning ticket for the blowjob lottery and didn't know
I ate goldfish off your shoulder, I think we had bigger issues
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
I'm running on jager fumes right now. It's like I put diesel in a prius and said fuck it.
LOVE ME MORE THAN PIZZA CAN
tried to make it look like I had been conscious/awake and out all day when I stumbled into cvs at 6pm to buy plan B
update: I failed
I don't want sex or anything I just really need someone to appreciate how shiny my hair is
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
My farts smell like burning tires and false courage
By the way I can not feel my vagina. It's like it's asleep. What the hell did you do?
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
Randomize