Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
yeah i didn't know anyone, but i just walked in with a lit sparkler and wearing a budweiser shirt and someone handed me a beer.
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
She makes walking on a treadmill look like a porno. I wish I could send over shots as an ice breaker.
That's effing brilliant. We should start a business.
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
Every single item that was in my fridge is now in my hot tub. Please help
There's an old guy having a conversation with his penis in the bathroom right now.
It was so cute that he apologized for getting cum on my couch. If he realized how many guys had cum on that couch in the past year, he wouldn't have touched my vagina with a 10-ft pole.
Woke up to the UT campus police fishing my boxers out of the university pool, guess it was a good night.
It got quiet and we all stood around and opened the box and I've never seen so many burritos in my life man. it was fucking biblical.
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
Oh god theyre drunkenly throwing knifes now, definitely the best movie I've worked on
to be fair i didnt know she wanted to sleep with me
WHY THE FUCK ELSE WOULD SHE DRAG A STRAIGT MAN INTO A VICTORIA'S SECRET CHANGEROOM GODDAMMIT
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