Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
I've eaten ice cream, mentos, an extreme gulp and swedish fish today. i feel like diabetes. the actual disease not a person with it.
two words: fractured penis. two more: emergency room.
Xanax and allergy medicine look a lot alike when you spill them on the floor. Just saying that I still have allergies but I'm unsure if I still have legs
i am literally watching eva make a trashbag diaper for you to sleep in tonight. whole new level of low for you.
I am planning my day around naps and lesbians.
She makes walking on a treadmill look like a porno. I wish I could send over shots as an ice breaker.
That's effing brilliant. We should start a business.
I AM HANGING OUT WITH ADORABLE DOGS SURROUNDED BY NATURE. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND ALSO BYE CIVILIZATION AND PANTS.
Are you at a park?
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
Was just told that I slept on the counter using a loaf of bread as a pillow. Clearly my life is going well.
One door closes, one man cooks for you through the next open door
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
the guy next to you kind of looks like a penguin. i'm going to fuck him
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
Randomize
