watching a tv show about cocaine.. just explained to my mom why the test monkey chose coke over food
My face smells like last night's lay. I need a whore bath. Or a corndog.
theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
then she made me sanitize my hands before fingering her...i may have found my soulmate
he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
I feel like the devil is trying to impregnate me through my eyeballs.
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
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