i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
last night i was so high that when a homeless person asked me for a dollar, i responded: dolla dolla bill ya'll.
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
i woke up the next morning in a pool of blood in my bathroom and a pinata donkeys head in my bed
so much for an anticlimactic 22nd birthday
Did you get any last night. I need to track my forever aloneness
I had such a pleasant walk of shame. The sun was shining, I smiled at all the high school suckers who judged me on their way to school, and I made friends with an old guy and his dog.
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
Listening to Ke$ha's new single to pump myself up for my STD test.
You peed up the stairs in front of everyone then blamed it on the dog
He ripped off my pantyhose and all I could think was, "oh no those were clinic-appropriate!" That's what I get for ditching a continuing education meeting to go hook up with my scuba instructor.
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
I think I left my thong in your bed. Careful. It has the power to destroy the agitator on a washing machine
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
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