Lady came into work yesterday. Full on stache and beard. I've never concentrated on making eye contact harder in my life.
Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
I realized we pick a president more often than I get a blowjob
Sometimes I send them texts like "I want to make you cry and lick up your tears" just to fuck with them. And THAT is how you get rid of a Stage 5 clinger.
I just want to go to their admissions office and show them the video of him taking the flaming shot, and be like yeah...you let in the kid who lit his entire face on fire over me.
I'm drinking too much free beer
Thats like saying one owns too many kittens. It's not possible.
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
If I were you I'd use my green card to do more coke and less talking
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
She was wearing some slutty variation of a toga and giving the entire bus a pep talk on why we should black out tonight...I'M IN LOVE AND I DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS IT!
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
Randomize
