Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
Dental hygienist just pulled two flakes of glitter out. And asked me how i've been doing with the divorce.
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
The last thing I remember is trying to split my bridesmaid dress down the back like the incredible hulk.
and you succeeded.
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
Why the hell did you smack that girls beer out of her hand at the end of the night then buy her a double jack and coke for?
Its called bad cop laid cop.
I just found out that I slept with Kate Gosselin's publicist back in June . Brb I have to wash myself endlessly.
Best part of Friday afternoon drinking? Having ping pong balls thrown into my cleavage.
Selling our snow shovel to buy more beer. Not your brightest idea.
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
Hey where the fuck is the rest of my beer? Lets start this day off right
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
I was so horny last night, I failed to let him know about my current bed bug infestation.
I'm glad I date someone who likes the simple things. Sex, kittens, and McDonald's.
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
Randomize
