I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
im flying all the way to minnesota to see him for four days... cutest-best-friend-reunion or most-epic-booty-call-ever?
who says it cant be both...
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
I tried to fuck this guy who I'm pretty sure has an erectile dysfunction
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
If she doesn't judge me for bringing my vibrator in the tanning bed, I know she is a true friend.
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
St Patricks day needs to be raged like youve never raged before. Like youre in the desert and it starts raining beer. Like it's the day the announced the 21st amendment (which is the one that ended prohibition)
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
You know she's gonna fuck shit up when she shows up in a neon wind-suit
It's not even 8 pm, or Saint Patrick's Day, and Kevin is drunk on my roof humping the air
We have moved from phase 1: honeymoon, to phase 2: trapped in relationship until the cold embrace of death
He tried to brush a hair off my cheek, but turns out it was just a freakishly long chin hair. So no, we didn't bang.
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
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