Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
This is getting ridiculous. See/touch her boobs=good day. Not see/not touch her boobs=bad day. I am legitimately depressed over the lack of tits in my hands right now.
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
Yeah. He can't come because his mom found the pizza box under his bed with my underwear in it. He acted confused, guess because i forgot to tell him..
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
winnie the pooh came out of nowhere and offered me a burrito...it was a fucking amazing burrito.
You went into the shower with my roommate and cursed him out asking why he was there
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
After you puked in the bathtub you claimed you were never eating quesadillas again and you never even ate a quesadilla
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
You brought a jar of mayonnaise to bed. It doesn't get any worse than that.
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
I'm texting you know although you won't get this until you wake up. the only reason you are strapped to your bed is because you were trying to fly out your window.
Randomize
