12 pack with dinner. Living by yourself is awesome.
Denmark girl wants me to go out but i remembered shes a raging whore with extremely questionable morals. Not feelin that tonight
Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
I literally made his dick bleed. How the fuck do you think it went?
my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
As far as figuring life out your talking to a guy that's alternating text messages between his baby mama and a drunk bitch I met tailgating. My best advice is don't worry about shit out of your control and always and I really mean ALWAYS wear a condom.
I called him daddy. To his face. Somewhat sober. What more could I do?
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
I could run a drunk marathon in heels
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
Pretty sure I used toilet water to wash vomit off my face last night...
I keep picking up boring men who literally just want to cuddle. HOW AM I THIS BAD AT GETTING SEX?
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
Randomize