Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
Someone asked me why we were having sex on the porch last night. All I remember is him saying he wanted the recruits to see. This has got to stop.
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
The German just referred to my vagina as the Great Barrier Reef and that he was going to go diving in it.
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
Next time I pee on a car, I'll text you.
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
Best part though was when he wanted to cuddle and I was like, I'm going to go.
Randomize
