oh my god, i just wanna eat cake off your dick
are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
I just had a brazillian performed by a hungarian named olga. Im pretty sure she was trying to rip out my soul. You owe me a million orgasms
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
I can feel my teeth in 4 dimensions. I shouldnt be this high at 8 in the morning.
Sorry, I know you're at the airport but a gram of coke is missing so good luck with security!
Company sent me first class out of state, got so drunk on the plane I started handing out pillows and blankets to the people in coach
How's my sex life is me mastubating next to her dog. that's how it's going.
he woke up this morning, drunk as fuck, butt ass naked, and he had left grandmas gun on the counter and doesn't know why.
It's called life, you pretentious bitch. Grow up.
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
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