IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
If im paying 4grand for laser eye surgery, it better help with beer goggles cuz last night was pretty rough.
Your remote is drenched in lotion and you expect me to believe you weren't masturbating?!
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
She wants an explanation of my cousins creepy foot fetish with my god sister. i don't know how I can sum this up in a text.
Dude are you alive? We drank shit that made a german bartender blow chunks.
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
i found you in bed eating fish fillets dipped in chocolate pudding
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
I just want to drink cheap wine and throw my bra at an aging singer songwriter
The guy that stalks me just looked out his window and saw me in his neighbor's hot tub. Get your shit ready the fraternity wars are starting.
My boss want to throw me an everclear birthday.
Never going back to jail again. Only time in my life I've ever had a wet dream about jerking it...
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