I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
i would rather give Shaq a handjob than take this accounting final
your idea of a balenced meal is a microwave frozen burrito, a cup of ramen noodles, and a can of budlight. honestly tell me how your resolution is to lose weight,
Is it bad when your hot neighbor is crying on her porch, and your 2nd thought is "maybe her boyfriend cheated on her and she'll want to fuck me for revenge sex?"
Perfectly normal.
just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
I can't believe I haven't fucked an Elvis impersonator yet.
Somehow I went from sitting in a car upside down to waking up in the grass surounded by paramedics. It was a great night.
This woman at the blackjack table is sitting on a pile of newspaper so she can pee at her seat and never miss a hand.
Randomize