Ways to know you did something wrong: you sugar-coated it for your therapist.
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
is there a way to say "yea i broke my wrist cause i fell down some stairs while tripping my face off on acid" without actually saying it?
Sorry, I was watching the Olympic story about the Canadian guy and drinking out of the prescription bottle and crying because it was so beautiful.
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
This is possibly the most humiliating moment of my life. I have diarrhea, in a port-a-potty, at the Renaissance Festival.
I got myself off in the shower last night for the first time ever! I just looked like I was playing a game of twister.
TELL HER ABOUT THE GODDAMNED MOTHERFUCKING POTATOES
Here’s how sick I am. I’m not hungry. I don’t want coffee. And I don’t want dick. So, you know it’s bad.
Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?
Randomize
