you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
he just payed for our date, after telling him I was leaving early to meet my fuck buddy. is there something lower than friendzone I can stick this guy in?
Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
Succesfully slept on the roof at work for 3.5 hours without getting caught. I need a promotion
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
Can you explain to me why there are fake boobs glued on my chest?
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
I don't know who's more excited for you to come home. Me or my vagina
I went to the bar without a bra on pretty sure you can go to Taco Bell drive thru with no pants
Come get your pancakes and take a nap in my boobs.
I just stood beside an Amish man and bought Cocoa Krispies and tampons.
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
Fuck this pandemic. She grabbed the hand sanitizer instead of the hand lotion while giving me a hand job and now my dick is burning and scrotum are on fire
A hand job? Are you 12?
Randomize
