im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
Michael Jackson had a heart attack when he found out boyz to men was a music group not a delivery service.
you kept yelling something about watching the muppets chirstmas carol and trying to turn the t.v. on with your car keys
I just realized there's an entire generation of children that will never know Alex Trebek had a mustache... Sad.
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
I FUCKED THE WRONG FRIEND HELP ME
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
One day I'm going to get tired of waking up and wondering where the glow sticks on the floor came from.
Did u find my other sock in your bra? U said u were uneven so I did the gentlemanly thing.
Randomize
