for our anniversary he stepped it up a notch and bought cool whip rather than the store brand. i was impressed.
i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
We realized he wasn't with us anymore, so we turn around and he's 20 feet back, peeing on a squirrel.
He bought me a oreo ice cream cake with "thanks for not calling the cops!" written in icing. If that doesn't sum up winter break, I don't know what does.
Hi future me, I saved you a big mac under the bed.
he's definitely still old enough to be your dad. even your grandfather, if you come from a line of juvenile delinquents
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
So I just crossed my legs and I was like what is this lump on my leg? Oooh its my underwear from last time I wore these jeans...
Nothing quite like walking through a spider web on your way back in from smoking to fuck up a perfectly good high.
After fooling around at the hotel til dawn, I managed to feed her with my free buffet passes. Tastes like sweet victory.
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
My roommate just threatened to kill me with my own pan. Can I ever get away from the crazies?!
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
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