if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
She keeps sending, "show me your elephant trunk."
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
I just opened my filing cabinet at work for the first time in months. It looks just like my pantry: nothing but peanut butter and whiskey.
I'm drunk in a field. the chupacobra is going to eat me. if I die serve vodka at my funeral.
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
You were carrying a 6 ft lamp that we stole on your back yelling "OHANA MEANS FAMILY AND FAMILY MEANS NOBODY GETS LEFT BEHIND"
My lighter is stuck in my beard.
I just saw a chick driving drinking a juice box smoking all while on the phone that is talent
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