He looks like a mix between a retired piano teacher and a cat that just swallowed a sock.
look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
I just smoked a bowl in the dining room and am now drinking a glass of chocolate milk. i can't believe i'm getting paid for this.
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
I think she just stepped in a piece of mac and cheese, picked it off the bottom of her foot and ate it.
Be careful. Don't drive if your body turns into a caterpillar again.
next time we drink: battle shots.
battle shots or battle shits? if its the first, explain. if its the second I think I figured it out.
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
It's just not a Friday night unless I'm getting propositioned by a guy in a wheelchair via Facebook messenger...
I'm gonna try Jim's breakup remedy this weekend.
Is that the one where you drink 3 cases of beer and rewatch as much WWE RAW as you can find? Or the one where you hookup with fatties on Craigslist?
I behisseth at your soul from the deepest darkest depths of the earth
I tried to bring you in when you passed out on the porch but all you said was that I "ruined your hope ands dreams of becoming an astronaut"
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
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