Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
Eating a popsicle in the shower was the best idea I've had in ages.
I woke him up with a blow job and he started sing "oh the USAAAA. IT'S GOING TO BE S BEAUTIFUL DAYYYYY"
When the nurse referred to my vag as "your downstairs", I knew I found the perfect Doctors office.
Also, since I switched back to this phone I've found a crop of dick pics and your funeral arrangements.
Sending dick pics while driving a car going 80 in the rain at night to a married woman? Why hello 2014
someday i'll meet a woman who will love me for my marvelous breasts and ignore my many character faults.
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
Just watched a guy open his car door, puke, close it, and resume driving. Happy Monday.
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