I can feel you judging me through the phone.
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
watching elf naked is so much better than watching it with clothes on .
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
He shaved off his eyebrows. This is not my life.
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
Apparently I whispered "Jesus was here" and bailed out of the moving taxi.
Snorting lines of xanex off the back of my grandparents toilet before church. Thinking of u.
Brian got his first ever blow job last night. We should make him a scrapbook.
He just got here and all he's wearing is a cloth over his penis.
I'll uninvite my mom
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
Baked out of my mind. Went in the bathroom, a daddy long leg spider and a carpenter ant are battling it out on the floor. I brought my computer with some dubstep.
OMG THE ANT WON
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
I STUDIED GEOGRAPHY I KNOW THIS SHIT!! DON'T YOU DARE QUESTION MY AUTHORITY ON GLACIAL DEPOSITION AGAIN BITCH!!
Randomize
