dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
i got her number while she was sitting next to her boyfriend. her actual number. i might be a superhero
How do I explain the handcuffs and tanning goggles on our living room floor? There's rope too. The cats love the rope.
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
That's why we don't trade sex for Taco Bell. It's called the dollar menu.
Drinking a grey goose and water in a random chair that I found by the road by myself
So there's that.
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
I apologize in advance for the number of sex toys drying on the bathroom sink.
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
Randomize
