You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
I swear I am going to pee, wipe my vag with my hand, and then slap you in the face with it.
did all my christmas shopping this morning at 4am drunk. never went to sleep. i was walking home drunk last night when i passed a target and saw 3 kids having a dance off. had to join. somehow they convinced me to go shoopping with them. i bought 4 disco balls and a lava lamp.
I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
You don't know how emotionally damaged I am from crashing into that park maintenance van. I'll never ride a bike because of it.
I plan to get very, very drunk when I get off work.
But doesn't your shift end at like noon?
I don't think you understand.
She came so hard that after she finished, she started a slow clap and then told me she pulled a muscle.
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
You stopped loving me for a minute.
You sent me "Is nap," I don't think that really counts as a conversation starter.
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
Randomize
